Month: March 2013

A Quarter of the Year Has Cometh and Goeth

Post author By Brian
Post date March 31, 2013
No Comments on A Quarter of the Year Has Cometh and Goeth

Looking back at the first 3 months of year, I can’t help but feel that this period counts as one of the most challenging and contemplative. I was way down in the dumps in January, felt better but still pained in February and miraculously, so very happy in mid-March. It was a time where I really struggled with my emotions and read stuff like this. I never thought I would need this so much, as well as some words of comfort from friends. It was a time when I cried more than what I ever had in the past few years. And I’m still doing so, unbelievably, typing these few sentences. I need a warm embrace.

Let’s get this over and done with.

Alex Goot, Kurt Schneider and Chrissy Costanza - Beauty and a Beat

Money

I can’t help but talk about money first cos it’s the easiest thing to check off. I guess the least I can say is that things are looking not too shabby in terms of finances though there is a need to rein in my spending even further. Last year saw me impulsively buying an iPad, lots of stuff from Amazon and online stores and other junk now collecting dust in my cupboard.

As for monetary inflow, it is the same I guess. No more army pay but drawing internship allowance which is slightly better. I also offloaded 1000 shares of IHH at 1.39 (now 1.405) and 1000 shares of AscendasHT at 0.92 (now 1.o3) while buying 3000 shares of MapletreeGCC at 0.93 (now 1.04) in their IPO.

Forex trading activity was zilch but I am looking to trade actively again.

Future

This was supposed to be titled Career but that was too narrow. Future is so broad. Ahh well. I ORDed in March and am now working at CSIT doing security vulnerabilities research on web applications. I managed to tamper to a certain extent one of the largest e-commerce sites in Singapore. I am currently dabbling in quite serious stuff here, so I shall tread lightly.

End March was a week of disappointment and regret. Disappointment after being rejected by so many colleges; regret for not applying to the easier schools. And to think there are still people who are tearing their hairs out over which school to eventually go to. It’s nice to know that my path is set in stone so easily. Somehow.

Wellness

’nuff said. I’m trying my best. Just don’t say my best isn’t enough.

Love

I wish I could be more definite about the way I feel about her. It is this strange DMZ between lover and friend. I don’t regard her as a potential girlfriend/partner/wife, but at the same time I sometimes regard my want to just spend time with her, seeing her smile and hearing her chirpy voice as something other than platonic.

And it is terribly, terribly confusing.

I really need a heart-to-heart talk with her – something that I had chosen to chuck in the drawer during our past 2 dates for fear of hurting myself again. Stay close, don’t go.

Random

I think the next few months would be quite remarkable as I get my mind off love and on to serious, quite fun projects that I hope will be successful. And make my mark on the world woot!

Happy Easter.

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Cute Dogs

Post author By Brian
Post date March 31, 2013
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College

I Am Waiting For A Train

You’re waiting for a train.

A train that will take you far away.

You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don’t know for sure.

But it doesn’t matter.

Because we’ll be together.

Cool

Best Times to Buy Stuff

Love Oh Shit!

Signs One Is In Love

Every time someone mentions their name — even if you have no idea what they are talking about — your ears perk up and you immediately tune out whoever you’re listening to to eavesdrop on that conversation.
~~You have, at least once, wrote your name out as it would look if you were married. You were then overwhelmed with shame, and destroyed all evidence.~~
Any time you go out with someone else on a date or to a social event, you can’t stop thinking about how much better it would be if you were there with your crush.
Literally everything they do is attractive, and interested, and makes you like them more. They could probably commit first degree murder and you would forgive them after a few minutes of serious reflection.
You are constantly tortured with the uncertainty over whether or not they ever think of you, and are pretty certain they are not even aware of your existence.
~~You have saved a few choice photos off of their Facebook for… research purposes.~~
All of your friends roll their eyes ~~and sigh semi-audibly~~ when they hear that you are bringing up your crush yet again.
~~People have begun starting their conversations with you by stating “No, I haven’t seen or spoken to them since we last saw each other,” just to get it out of the way.~~
You have managed to discover their old MySpace and Photobucket from highly-focused search engine creeping.
You start to see every couple in TV, movies, or books as being a thinly-veiled representation of the two of you. Everyone from Romeo and Juliet to Noah and Allie to Lady and The Tramp are versions of yourselves.
Every song reminds you of them somehow, even songs that have absolutely nothing to do with love or dating.
You have said their name aloud during masturbation at least once, likely several dozen times. Okay, several dozen. Ish.
People know not to ask you if you’re seeing anyone because the response is only going to be a deep spiral of depression and longing which ends with taking shots of whipped cream out of the can while crying.
You alternate between daydreaming about how lovely the world is and how many amazing things could happen to you when you least expect it, and berating yourself over being such a failure in a world that was already ugly and painful to begin with.
You spend several hours extra getting ready — possibly even buying new clothes — when you know that there is a chance you might see them tonight.
When you end up not seeing them, you contemplate suicide.
There is no length you won’t go to to “accidentally” run into them, even taking a route which is nearly an hour out of your way to arrive somewhere at the same time.
You can’t focus on work, friends, or remembering to eat regularly.
Your friends have begun keeping you away from situations that involve large quantities of alcohol, because they’re tired of dealing with your tearful monologues when you have a little too much to rink.

Spot on. Nice post, Charlotte Green from TC.

An aside: A new cute theme for rest of the year (I hope!) with atypical allusions to the gluttony in me. It’s a slow day at work today. :

Food Love

A Gastronomical Hangover

Ugh. Yesterday’s amazing culinary experience has certainly gotten into me. I spent the better part of the hours pre-lunch (in work, I believe that a typical work day has 3 periods – prelunch, lunch and postlunch.)

Prelunch – conversing with people in the same room any interesting stuff that happened from previous-end-of-work-day till then, Facebook, 9gag, some surreptitious Wikipedia surfing and as lunch draws closer, decisions on where to eat

Lunch – ’nuff said. Minimum 2 hours.

Postlunch – waltz in to air-con room so full that brain and eye shut down, wake up to see time, check 9gag for new posts, more surfing, do a little bit of what-I-am-paid-to-do

Oooh it’s 5pm already?

I jest. But I spent 1 hour talking to the only person in the room that has a remote interest in sth other than math and crypto (sigh) about fine dining and cheap food places. so here goes – Salt Grill and Sky Bar, PS Cafe, La Nonna. Introduced her to SAVOUR and il Lido and she seems pretty piqued by the food fair. I guess that’s what you get when you draw a regular pay.

Love

How to Make My Day

Hans Zimmer - Time

It feels wonderful to chat with the girl you loved and sort of lost. So much so that I want to cancel off March on my calendar and scribble Happiness.

The Month of Happiness.

Contrast that to the previous month when she seemed so distant and aloof … and I stopped trying too hard after some time sighhh

😀 All is well methinks 😀

I have attached a song so good that it makes shitting epic.

And a reallyy random conundrum I experience in every meeting during army ><

Love Random

Oh Just Random

I have this theory that the more important and intimate the emotion, the fewer the words are required to express it. For instance, in dating-

“Will you go out with me?” Six words.

“I think I care for you.” Five words.

“You matter to me.” Four words.

“I love you.” Three words.

“Marry me.” Two words.

So what’s left? What’s the most important and intimate word you can ever say to somebody?

It’s “goodbye.”

— J. Michael Straczynski

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ORD

Post author By Brian
Post date March 4, 2013
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Funny how I started preparing this post way back in 15th December 2012… goes to show how much I want my PTW stint to end. I kinda like army, but the place I was posted to, let’s just say let ’em rip.